Missing Mom

My mother always had some funny sayings when I was growing up.  She had some fun ideas about what it was like in Heaven before we came to earth.  She also had some great ideas about what the next life would be like as well.  I guess in some ways I like to think about some of her thoughts about those far off places that can't be touched at present.  I want to share a few of those thoughts with you.

1: There are lines in Heaven where we are given specific talents and gifts.  My mother was an avid reader and a very decent writer, as was her mother before her.  Both of them were published authors of poetry and articles.  I did not stand in "that line" when talents were being handed out.  Although I love to read, I have often wished I had a way with words to be able to paint a picture, or describe a scene.  Maybe I should take more time to practice by writing on this blog, eh?  There are many more "lines" I wish I would have stood in to get those "talents or gifts" but that shall be a blog on another day.

2: When we get to Heaven again, and are crowned with Glory, we shall be able to make our own worlds.  She claims that there is a Grass Making class 101 and Butterflies and Other Flashy Insects class.  She thought we might learn the basics for making worlds.  She would see something beautiful and say, "Heavenly Father must have had fun making that, don't you think?"  I think he did.  

I miss her daily although it has been nearly 12 years since she left this earth.  I find myself wanting to share some exciting news with her, or give her a call to unload my pain or sorrow.  I want to ask her questions that only she can answer about things in my younger years or things that she went through.  I want to ask her how she was able to let me go after high school when I am saying goodbye to one of my kids as they leave.  Did it tear her heart out as much as it is tearing out mine?  I find myself wishing that I could shoot her a text or an email and get a response.  

I wonder what she is doing "up there" and what committees she must be on.  She used to say that her sister, who died in 1982-83 would be on the welcoming committee.  I do believe that, but what is mom up to?  Who has she recently seen or visited with or accomplished.  I know that I will see her once again, but I long to hear her voice, and hear her laugh, and feel her hugs.  Miss you mom!

 

Moving On - Times 2

I don't even know how to begin this post.  I am trying to be careful what I say or think because if I think about it too much I cry.  But I need to "put it down" so there is proof someday that I really did "feel" about it all.

First off is graduation for Josh.  May 24, 2012

I have another graduate.  I am amazed how hard this has been for me to know that I have two that have graduated high school.  It just seems like I was just graduating and wondering what I was going to do with my life.  Trying to decide where I was going to go to school, what I would major in, how soon I would find that special someone to be happy with.  And now, I have Two children at that stage of life!  Two out of high school, Two in college, Two moving on and Two moving out!

We were all there to support Josh but Seth disappeared quickly after the ceremonies.

The day after graduation, as a family, we moved Tessa into her apartment.  That seemed even more difficult to handle than Josh graduating the night before!  My oldest, my first, my own baby girl leaving the nest, becoming independent, cutting her strings, flying the coop, being on her own.  I couldn't watch as tears filled both of our eyes as we left her at her doorstep.  I wish I would have taken a photo of that, but I couldn't see and I didn't want to upset her.  I cried all night and found out later she did too. Her apartment is too quiet and lonely when her roommate is not there, so we see her on the weekends.  I can handle that.  But once Soccer season starts we won't see her as much.

In August, Josh will start college in Utah.  Even farther away than Tessa.  I am sure it will hurt as much to drive away after we drop him off as well.  Oh the adventures he will have being away from his parents.  I am sure he will do well.  I realize they are old enough to go to college and be on their own, but they are mine, and we as mothers, spend our whole parenting years doing just that.  It is not so easy to turn "off" those mothering feelings that have been maturing for the 18 years they have been "on".  How do you, when there is no switch?

So now I will be down two kiddos at home.  I am curious to see how the dynamics of the family will change.

Indexing

I received a new church calling in January. The Stake Family History Director and Indexing Director. A stake is comprised of usually 10 wards. A ward is a specific area with about 500 or so members. That being said, I have a specific time that I am at the Stake Center in a room to help anyone with their family history or indexing. Thursday evenings. It is very rewarding to have people come and to link those of their ancestors to their family trees.

Lately though, I have found joy in indexing. Indexing is where a person has scanned or taken a photo of a document (i.e., birth or death certificate, marriage license, draft card, voting records, ships logs or census records) and made it available for those willing, to read those images and type the information on to the computer. These are then made available to those searching over the internet for lost loved ones. Two people index the same image and if there are any differences, it is sent to an arbitrator that makes the final decision before it is released into cyber space. It's all fascinating! By doing this I provide others a way to find the information they might be looking for.

The first of April, the 1940 USA Census was released. In the first week 17,000,000 names were indexed. There are over 132,000,000 that need to be indexed with in 6 months. I am grateful to be part of such a great thing. If any of you would like to index you can go to www.familysearch.org and get started. There is a tutorial you can watch. You won't be sorry you did.

Family Photos 2012

Spring break this week and a chance to do something as a family before we all went our separate ways. I thought we would throw together some family photos. We had them scheduled to take them the week that my Dad died hence they did not happen. So literally, I went shopping on Monday morning with some of the kids. (We decided on Sunday evening to do them Monday night). I loved what we picked out! I love the brighter colors when put up next to the bright green of the lawns this time of year!

Our impromptu photographer, Val, was funny and kept us in stitches! Thanks Val! There was a lot of goofy-ness going on and a lot of smiles and laughter. I was grateful. There are so many of these photos that I love! And I am looking forward to hanging them on my wall. I am getting a big one done in canvas! I can't wait!


I love this smile on Megan! It is totally her!


Josh showing off his buffness!







I love Tessa's eye in this one.

First to Fly!

Josh had his Eagle Court of Honor last Sunday evening. It was an awesome court of honor. On Saturday I had him get in full uniform so I could get an official photo for the display at the court of honor. This is one of my favorites.



All Eagle scouts are given a pin for each of their parents. This is the photo of Josh pinning the mom pin on my sash that holds all of the pins he has ever gotten. I think the look I am giving him tells how I feel about that moment.



After he is awarded his award, he then has a moment to give a mentor pin or pins to those who helped inspire him. He gave three such awards out. One of them was to his father. Alan was quite shocked and emotional to be receiving one.



This is right after he pinned the parents pins on.



And this is the family plus my cousin Quinn and his son Christian who came to support Josh. Quinn loves to tease my kids as is evident in the second photo! Thanks for coming to be with our family for the evening!

Winning the Lottery!

Lottery you say? Yes the Educational lottery! Josh got word today that he has been accepted to BYU in Provo, Utah. Now to top that news we just need to hear that the Track and Field Coach wants him to join the team up there! :) However, in light of receiving this news, my heart is tugged in another direction as I realize he will have to live in Provo to attend school there. Which means he has to LEAVE me behind! Not only that, Tessa is looking into moving in with one of her teammates. So there is quite the possibility that I will have two children moving out within 6 months. :( That is cutting our family down by a third and cutting the amount of children in half! AAAGGGHHH! I am going to have to stew over this for awhile. I am not sure I am liking this situation which is strange for me.

I have always celebrated the new experiences my children are going to have i.e.. kindergarten, first day of school every year, junior high, etc. But this graduating and leaving my home has got me mourning the whole situation. What am I going to do without their humor and their hugs? And the many other things they do that make up my life as a mother? I will always have in the back of my mind that there is someone missing! and Two someones! I guess letting them go is the whole reason you teach them to tie their own shoes and make their beds. To iron their shirts and do their own laundry. I just can't help but thinking, have I taught them enough to DO on their own what they will have to DO to DO IT! The time for teaching is nearly over and the days of keeping my mouth shut as they make their own decisions about their lives is about to begin. I pray I have done ENOUGH teaching for them to DO IT!

Marvel Morp

Josh was asked to go to MORP. The theme was Marvel MORP. Dressing up as a Marvel comic was the objective. Some of the kids next door just put on matching tee-shirts with Superman, Batman, or Captain Marvel logos on them. Josh wanted to do something even better than that. Josh can grow facial hair at quite a rapid rate. So he decided to grow out his wiskers and hair and become Wolverine! Here is what he looked like.




This one is my favorite! I put it on facebook and one of the comments from my nephew was "Hugh Jackman, is that you?" I love the way this photo turned out. After taking this photo we colored his "chops" with some black spray and you can see them in the next photo.



This is his date Courtney. She went as storm. My flash takes away the intensity of her eyes. I wish you could have seen them yourself.



I am amazed at what creative children I have. And pretty daring at that. I am sure he would have gotten the most look alike award had they given any out.

Today after church, Josh asked if I would give him a hair cut and buzz his "chops" off. He looks so much cleaner without all that red hair on his face. :)