I must be getting aged!

I must be getting aged, like old cheese or wine (not that I know what aged wine tastes like but I do know that it is more pricey when it is older). Tessa is now officially a Senior. She received information on her Senior Portraits in the mail today. And she reminded me in the car that she is now officially a Senior. I am feeling a little sad at the fact. I remember when she was a Freshman and I was thinking how soon the four years would go and now I am entering that last and final year of High School with her. I am not quite sure how I feel about that. Sad and happy all in the same blink of an eye.



I remember when she was about 2 when she loved to dance endless circles around the room. She made me dizzy with the amount of rotations she did. I remember when Josh was just learning to crawl, how she would lay down on the floor and pat her tummy and say "On me Joshy, On me!" wanting him to wrestle with her. Then preschool and the multiple hair barretts she would put in her hair, thinking more must be prettier. Her hair would stick out straight from all those barretts. And the many nick names she wanted to be called; Cinderella, Pocahontas, Odette was the three we would have to call her at once. She finally settled on Belle as her favorite Princess.

So, time has flown by. Many told me it would but I didn't believe them. And now here I am faced with her growing up for good. I usually don't have such sentimental feelings for my kids moving on and growing up, but this is something she is moving to that I can't watch too closely because I struggle with her not being a part of me anymore. I know that doesn't really make any sense but she is so much a part of me. All my kids are, but to have my oldest making these real strides to adulthood makes me feel left out. I can only imagine what next year at this time will bring. I will bawl my head and heart out because all of it won't be in the near future, it will be in the past.

I also am so proud of Tessa. She gets to walk in Graduation tonight as one of the top 12 Juniors. They lead the Seniors in to their seats for Graduation ceremony. I am not sure where she came from (because her parents certainly didn't have those kinds of grades or the determination that she has to get them). I am proud that she has put so much effort into her schooling.

Tessa isn't the only reason I am feeling this way. Next year this time, I will have the same feelings about my Josh. And three years from today I will feel the same about my Megan. And 6 years about my Seth. Yes that is right, I will have three kids in High School next year. A Freshman, Junior, and a Senior. And my youngest will be the oldest in Elementary School. What was I thinking to have them all so close.







I cannot live in the past and I most certainly should not live in the future. I should live for the day. But this day I will reflect on where I have been and where I will go. Apron strings will have to be cut, but perhaps I will use a very dull knife instead of a pair of scissors so I can hang on a little longer.